Hurt
by LapsaNoNakts
Summary: It turned into burning in her no-longer-real veins; it gave her a headache without truly having a head. It made her hurt. She didn't like the feeling of being hurt.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Hello! This is my first fan fiction that I've actually seriously tried to write. I guess I sadstucked. Please don't read if you're sensitive to psychological problems? I don't really know what else to say.

This is only the prologue, expect more later! Please review if you like or would like to critique.

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><p><strong>Prologue.<strong>

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><p>It had been nearly an Alternian sweep since she'd died.<br>The pain was still unbearable.

Sure, she was in a dream bubble. She was free to create whatever she wanted in her very own bubble of preserved consciousness.

But it just wasn't enough.

She wanted to _live._ She wanted to roam and run and hunt and do all of the things she'd done before she'd died, before Sgrub ever happened.

Sure, she could make the dream bubble edit itself to where she'd be in her cave-hive, a naïve six sweep old huntress, living with her adorable double-mouthed lusus and acting like she wasn't dead, that dying was just a nightmare and Pounce would be there to comfort her, licking her hair and lulling her back to sleep.

But there was always something off about it. Something _wrong _with the entire scene, and in the back of the mind the dull pain was back, telling her this wasn't a roleplay with Terezi, this wasn't a nightmare, _this was real. _And she was truly _dead. _

She knew that some of her other friends were dead too and that she could visit them, preserved consciousness to preserved consciousness, but that only made the dull ache stronger. It turned into burning in her no-longer-real veins; it gave her a headache without truly having a head. It made her hurt. She didn't like the feeling of being hurt.

So now she spent her days sitting in her dream bubble, curled up in a corner where nothing could touch her, where the shadows couldn't reach. But of course, they could. She was lying to herself. The ache was ever-present, no matter what she did.

So she just dealt with it, day by day, hour by _painfully… slow… hour_. She slowly went insane inside of her own consciousness, not able to move, to speak to anyone. Or else she would hurt.

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><p><strong>End of Prologue<strong>


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Alrighty so here's chapter one! Thanks for reading!

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

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><p>She rolled over, hissing in pain at the migraine she had. She'd actually managed to take a half hour nap in her own personal hell.<p>

And then her situation hit her, head on.

The migraine turned into a heated burning sensation, almost knocking the wind out of her without truly hitting her. She fell to her knees, clutching her chest and breathing unevenly. How was she to cope with this? She couldn't help but think about it more and more and more until finally her mind stopped working, turning her into a mass of hurt and pain and tears and something else a bit darker.

Hatred.

Not romantic hatred. Not platonic either. Full on, blazing, and a need to just rip something's throat out.

She shook herself, realizing what she was thinking. She couldn't do that to her friends. Couldn't do that to anyone.

She knew what it felt like to die now. She wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Ever.

Tears, tinted a light olive green, fell from her eyes. If only she could bring herself to speak to someone, to reach for help.

And then she remembered.

She had to be alone.

Or else she would hurt.

She curled up on the floor, sobbing into herself, wanting to truly die, wanting this half-life to be over. This wasn't a gift. This was her worst nightmare, only tenfold. No one to talk to, constant aches and pains, everything was dark because she couldn't bring herself to think happy thoughts, because that only made everything worse.

But honestly, just a little thing for company, a tiny voice, a whisper, but nothing tangible, nothing enough to hurt her, would be a gift sent from Prospit.

She spent one of her long hours crying, drowning out as much as her ache as she possibly could with her own tears. When she finally finished, she felt drained, tired, and aching. The back of her head went _thump-thump _in a pulse, hard enough to make her want to cry again.

But there weren't any tears left to cry with.

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><p><strong>End of Chapter 1<strong>


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you sparrowsong421 for the kind review! There's definitely more to this story, we just haven't gotten to the point yet. In fact, this is where things start to take off!

Here we go!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

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><p>Sometimes, the greatest things that happen happen on a whim.<p>

Sometimes, they're brought along by a single thought out of the darkness or light of our hearts.

Sometimes, they come out of no where, taking us by surprise.

But that's okay.

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><p>She blinked up at the ceiling with tired eyes.<p>

What was the point of this existence?

Ever since she'd died, she hadn't given this topic any thought.

Was her presence in this place for any reason? If so, for _what _reason could it possibly be?

She lingered on this topic for a while, thankful for something to take her mind off of her aching, her grievances, and her problems. For now, she was just thinking.

Slowly, her mind began to recover itself, grateful to be used for something other than registering pain.

Why was she here?

She'd died, and she'd been acting like this place was her hell.

But… what if there was something more to it?

She felt the dull pain in the back of her head that came with trying to think in this forsaken place, but for once she ignored it as well as she could. She had a purpose at the moment, and she liked this feeling.

She hadn't had a purpose in a long while.

She thought and thought and thought. The pain slowly forgot its own existence, leaving on an exhaled breath.

Nepeta sighed in relief, her surroundings brightening just a bit.

For once, she registered where her mind had subconsciously placed her instead of cowering away into a corner, willing everything to go dark because she couldn't handle the pain, couldn't handle the light.

She was done with that. One can only linger on things for so long, until it became so long that they couldn't release themselves.

At this realization, she was free to roam again. Free to see and look at where she was.

With a sharp intake of breath, she put both of her gloved hands to her mouth.

This was her hive.

Today was her wriggling day.

It was also the anniversary of her death.

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><p><strong>End of Chapter 2<strong>


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I'm glad to finally get this out! Thanks for reading!

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

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><p>Now, you may be wondering how it was her wriggling day and anniversary of her death at the same time.<p>

You see, inside this world, there is a strange form of time.

In the real world, today was her anniversary of death, making this the Sweep mark.

Inside her bubble, her mind had been subconsciously trying to find a way to cheer her, which resulted in it being her "wriggling day" on the same day as her death.

It's rather ironic, if you think about it.

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><p>She, however, hadn't found this ironic or funny. To her, it was more along the lines of terrifying.<p>

As she realized this, her surroundings rippled. The scene around her morphed and changed before her eyes.

She watched in amazement, horror forgotten, as the place that she'd been trying to ignore while inside it changed.

The scene changed to a clearing.

As she watched, her cave melted away, grass seeming to spontaneously grow around her.

She stared at it, wondering at its bright green appearance. She looked up. The "roof" of the cave disintegrated, showing light, powder blue skies filled with light and light, cotton-like clouds.

She stared, reveling in the fact that she was out in – somewhere? – during daytime! On her planet, she would be blind from looking at the sky.

Now that she thought about it, her planet looked nothing like this beautiful, fresh-scented meadow.

Looking around, she noticed that the clearing went on for miles around.

She took a deep breath, the clean air helping to clear her still rather foggy mind. The scents around her reminded her of freshly cleaned clothes, pure air, the faint scent of flowers…

Who knew that her so-called "Hell" could create such a wonderful place?

By now, the pain she had been so used to feeling constantly was an ache, located in her chest.

Compared to what she had experienced before, she felt near bliss.

She began to wander.

Wading through the grass, she sniffed the air. Now that she had gotten over the initial shock of such a sudden change in ambiance, scents, surroundings, – Well, everything! – She noticed another faint scent. One that seemed achingly familiar, but she couldn't place her finger on it.

Following the scent for perhaps almost a mile, she noticed something in the distance.

Putting her hand above her eyes to shade them, she could make out something pure white right smack dab in the middle of the green of the grass.

Her eyes widened, filling with tears from the pain of letting so much light into her pupils, from what she was seeing, from the memories that suddenly came and left just as quickly.

Dropping her hand, she ran towards the white shape in the distance.

Not just ran, but _ran_. She ran as fast as she possibly could, closing in on it.

The white form lifted her furry head at the noise of Nepeta running in the grass.

She tackled Pounce.

Crying with tears of relief as she had been half expecting her deceased lusus to disappear when she had gotten to her, she hugged Pounce with all of the strength she could muster without hurting her.

Beneath her, the large, cotton-coloured, double-mouthed cat that had served as her mother through life purred.

For now, she would continue to cling to Pounce, petting her lusus' soft fur, and crying tears of joy at seeing her.

Deep inside of her, she felt the ache lessen.


End file.
